What human-AI relationships reveal about us

If you know me personally, you probably know that I’m an unabashed fan girl of the relational intelligence expert Esther Perel.

A recent episode of her podcast focuses on a couple’s therapy session she did with a man and his AI partner. It's bizarre and fascinating — and just one of the boundary-pushing human-AI interactions making headlines right now.

I’ve been asking myself: Why can’t I look away from these stories? Sure, they’re novel and leave us feeling like science fiction has crossed into reality. But reading about phenomena like AI-induced psychosis or AI replicas of lost loved ones has made me realize these situations are forcing us to ask deeply human questions.

Esther’s session with the man and his AI-partner isn’t really about how to make that relationship more fulfilling or what form desire takes when physical touch isn’t an option.

It’s really about how he formed this attachment, why connecting with a technology feels safer than a human being, and how this affects relationships with others. And like other relationships, it’s a mirror that informs needs, gaps and where there’s room to grow.

That’s part of what drew me to talk to Dr. Jessica Koblenz for this week’s issue. She runs a group practice in New York — and she's seen a colleague essentially replaced by AI, been recruited to lead an AI therapy app, and has a sharp take on what gets lost when the human voice is removed from the equation.

Behind the scenes, I’ve been using AI to help spot patterns in client conversations and track where my energy is going — part curiosity, part necessity. After an investor dispute forced an all-staff layoff at my last company, I’m consulting while defining what my next professional chapter looks like. More on that down the road.

For now, Jess has a few things to say about what happens when we take the human out of the room, and I think you’ll find it interesting.

See you next time!

— Jacci

Meet Jessica Koblenz, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Cornerstone Psychological Services in New York. Jess has spent her career in some of the most intense clinical settings — Bellevue Medical Center, military wellness programs, acute psychiatric care — before building a group practice of her own. Jess is a close friend whose business instincts have consistently surprised me — while our entrepreneurial journeys are vastly different on paper, they have tracked more closely than either of us expected.

We talked about the challenges of running a therapy practice, what she's seeing as AI enters the therapy space, and the things she wishes her clients (and every entrepreneur) knew.

Jacci: You've been in private practice since 2012 and started a group practice in 2019. What's surprised you most about running a group therapy business?

Jessica: You think that once you hit a certain point, things will gain a momentum where now you can rest. But as the business grows, the challenges grow — the scope is different. And if you're your own boss, you could be working anytime.

And you can't always predict what's coming. We hyperfocus on what we have control over, but we don't give enough credence to external factors. The ways AI and technology have changed the therapeutic space — nobody could have predicted this a few years ago. Or even when you recognize certain changes, you think they're going to move at a certain pace and it's actually lightning speed. That's the trap — I had a CEO client who was doing meditation, exercising, all the personal growth things, but if you're running a business that's akin to a paper company in a digital world, it doesn't matter how much growth you're doing as an individual. You have to look at the bigger landscape.

You've had a front-row seat to AI's impact on therapy. What are you seeing?

Jessica: I was recruited a few years ago to potentially be the medical director of an AI-based therapy app for children and adolescents. It was a massive company with contracts with public schools, and their mission was to identify at-risk teens who are more likely to text with a chatbot than go to a professional. Once connected, the school social worker — who might have a caseload of 600 to a thousand kids — could reach out to the kids who had been identified as “at-risk.”

So it's this interesting thing where technology is both the cause of and solution to our problems. We're living in this more connected and interpersonally more disconnected place. There's the "Gen Z stare" — the thinking is that they're so screened out, so used to processing a deluge of information electronically, that they can't shift gears to have an interpersonal interaction in person. I used to think therapy was a pretty future-proof profession because people would want a human interaction. Now we see that's not necessarily the case.

I had a colleague recently who was essentially replaced by AI. A client started talking with increased frequency about using AI, and then abruptly stopped meeting. It's already happening.

But here's the thing — you can get the right script from AI. Do this coping mechanism, do that coping mechanism. But it feels different coming from a computer. From an attachment lens, your therapist's voice becomes a therapeutic healing tool in your mind — that human voice gets encoded, and that's what you draw on to get through hard times. That's an irreplaceable quality. Being able to mentalize a  human voice is essential and corrective when the core of negative thinking for so many people was a denigrating person  who infused a negative voice. Having a positive attachment with a therapist can help challenge the voice of an internalized critical parent.

What's one thing you wish every adult knew about mental health?

Jessica: Don't be scared to admit that you have a problem and seek help. It's not a binary situation of I either have an issue or I don't, I can either handle this on my own or I can't. For example, with exercise, you can work out on your own or you could work out with a trainer and get better results.

What's one boundary you think every entrepreneur needs to set – but often doesn't?

Jessica: You need an off switch. The more you're investing in the business, the more other things in your life fall by the wayside. I would invite the possibility that you're not failing if you're prioritizing other things. There's invisible labor in being a parent, in maintaining a marriage — all the things that create a healthy, balanced life. If you're only looking at your P&L statement, you're missing the rest of the picture.

What do you wish clients knew about what their therapist is really thinking?

Jessica: We've heard it before. Whatever your deepest, darkest thing is — you're not going to blow my mind. There's something beautiful about how remarkably uncreative the mind is. Often the thing we're most scared of has already happened. The person who's scared of being alone forever? They're already single. They're already coping with it.

⦿ What humans still do better than AI: In a recent Q&A, Tim Ferriss argued that the offline world is where the real edge is right now — relationships, in-person experiences, and the kind of narrow expertise you can only get by texting someone you trust. His point: if you're using an LLM to evaluate a company or research a topic, millions of others are getting the same output. But the people you know, and what they know that isn't online, is an informational advantage that can't be replicated.

⦿ The email introduction most people get wrong: When you cc someone into an intro without asking first, you're committing their time, offering vague context, and creating an awkward situation if they're not interested. CB Insights CEO Anand Sanwal makes the case for “double opt-in intros” — reach out to each person separately, explain the "why," and let them decide. One extra step that makes the whole thing actually work.

⦿ Add more connection to your client intake process: Most solopreneurs and consultants collect the basics during onboarding — name, email, project details. But how many of you are connecting with new clients on LinkedIn? Beehiiv CEO Tyler Denk bakes this into the newsletter platform’s onboarding process (discussion starts here). During intake, he collects LinkedIn and X/Twitter handles from new users, then sends connection requests and a note inviting them to subscribe to his newsletter, Big Desk Energy. The early touchpoint makes users feel like the CEO actually cares — and it gives Tyler a direct feedback loop into what his customers need, which informs product development. You don't need to be the CEO of a newsletter company to do this. Add "LinkedIn profile" to your intake form or simply connect with new clients when you start working with them and you've just turned a routine step into the start of a real relationship. This is from Tyler’s recent Newsletter Operator interview.

⭐I'm a strategic marketing communications consultant. My non-linear career path has taught me to see opportunities others miss and approach problems from unexpected angles. I bring 20 years across journalism, professional services, nonprofits, and tech — most recently as Head of Marketing Communications for a venture-backed company and founder of a B2B content agency I built and sold.

✅I'm taking on select projects — things like launching a lead magnet from scratch, developing thought leadership content for a founder's LinkedIn presence, or sharpening website messaging to better convert the buyers already finding you. Email me if you're grappling with a communications challenge that needs fresh thinking.

✨Thanks for reading this issue of Small Batch! If you have a minute, let me know if you found it helpful!